On forgiveness…

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A Rabbi once told me “It is not for us to hand out forgiveness like candy. Does the person acknowledge what they have done? Is the person remorseful? Has the person taken steps to repair the wrong they have committed? If you answer ‘no’ to any of these questions your forgiveness amounts to NOTHING for the spirit of the person you forgive… or their salvation. Acknowledge the forgiveness is for YOURSELF so YOU may be free of the burden of the wrong doing and move on with your life. Never expect anyone to FEEL BETTER because YOU have forgiven THEM. Let them find their peace with God.”

I’ve lived my life with this voice in my head. Letting something go and forgiveness are not the same thing. Why bother my spirit with forgiving someone if they haven’t taken any of the aforementioned steps?  So I can feel better?  Here’s the thing about TRYING to be a good person… when you try to do the right thing… and you act accordingly… there will never be a reason for you to TRY to feel better.

No matter the wound… it will happen… that… ‘feeling better’.

I’ve thought about the recent ‘wrongs’ I perceive others having done to me. The truth is those people are walking around la la la as though nothing has happened. They are burden free because in their own mind they have done NOTHING wrong… and when a person feels they are in the right… they will sleep just fine.

Love is such a precious… practically extinct… important aspect to this life. To a person’s spirit… to your world.

If I called you my friend… I meant it. Even if you didn’t respect it… I loved you.

So I’ve decided to take the selfish approach with this… I forgive YOU (those perceived ‘wrong doers’).

I’ve let it go.

Make no mistake… if I’ve put you on that list it’s because you actually DID something FOUL…and I forgive you anyway. Not for YOU… but because I have to forgive myself for giving you that power in the first place. MY FAULT!!!

If I called you my love… I meant it. Even if you didn’t understand it… I loved you.

So I finally understand… I just bring out the worst in some hearts.

I’ve let you go.

We are all human and some decisions are just REALLY BAD CHOICES. I have no interest in holding on to any of that. That’s between you and God. Truth be told… HE’S already forgiven you… so *shrugs* really who am I to judge?

You are human… so am I….

I still hear that Rabbi’s voice… these days I hear something else… the sound of my redeemer… telling me “Let go and Let GOD.” I am FAR from perfect. I make mistakes just like everyone else… and I pray that when I do… I’ll acknowledge what I’ve done. I’ll be remorseful… and I’ll take steps to repair the damage.

People say all the time “What Would Jesus Do?”  Well my answer?

“I ain’t HIM.”

BUT…

I do understand where he was coming from. So I’ll try to DO BETTER.

– Nova

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