Dancing in the Rain…
When we lived in Florida (Hurricane central) the thunderstorms were brutal… heavy rain… heavy lightening… and I would always ended up outside during the craziest storms. My mom thought I was nuts and I was ALWAYS in trouble for it. One weekend we went to an Indian reservation (still in Florida I think it was the Seminole Tribe) an old toothless woman took one look at me over a barrel of jewelry pointed her finger in my face and said “Oh child… you… (wagging her finger in my face) YOU are a Rain Walker!”
Where the love affair began: when we lived in Queens (where I was born)… my sister left me alone with them one summer… with my parents. It was one of those odd times between relatives staying with us. I’m not sure how old I was… I just know it was sometime after 5 and before 9 years of age. I spent that summer alone… bored and entertaining myself. I had imaginary friends… Dukes of Hazard and Woody Woodpecker were my favorite shows (Woody was my first husband by the way lol) and I explored our yards… front… back and side.
She was spending the summer at a friend’s older sister’s house (and her husband). Thinking on it now that in and of itself was odd… considering my mom never let us go ANYWHERE, but she didn’t mind these visits… it wasn’t the first time my sister went. Someplace deep in Spring Valley (Upstate New York)… Someplace far away from my parents… someplace far away from me. You see back in those days we didn’t get along my sister and I… AT ALL. She didn’t get along well with my dad either… which I think is the real reason my mother agreed to these extended visits. I think she wanted some peace in the house even if it was only for a little while… and those two? My dad and my sister? They fought and fought and fought like cats and dogs… my sister and I fought and fought and fought… like wild animals… smh you would think the world was coming to an end.
So picture this… my dad was low key (very). He was rarely home… he just made it a point to make it in time for dinner. My mom would lock herself in her room all day and read… and read… and read… I believe this is where my affection for books started… standing quietly in the doorway of my parent’s bedroom watching ‘the most beautiful woman in the world’ (because that’s what moms are to their children) sitting up in bed… glasses perched on the edge of her nose… reading a book. So I entertained myself. These were the days prior to cell phones… the internet… and Facebook. My source for all things fun and adventurous was… wait for it… GOING OUTSIDE!!! Ha! Imagine that. I did EVERYTHING… I would sneak around the block… into neighbors yards… pet peoples dogs… play with strays… climb trees… climb the rain gutters onto the roof… dig up worms… make mud pies… ride my bike… play hop scotch… jump rope… fight with the neighborhood boys…sit on the front steps… watch cartoons (Silver Spoons, Punkie Brewster oh the list goes on and on) climb in and out of the side window… harass the other people who lived in the house (it was a three family home) … pretty much anything I could think of… anything that I could DREAM of. I was a GOONIE! Fearless and curious… and mischievous and FUN. The template for all children… at least back then.
The rain started one sunny afternoon… we had a stretch of more than a week of weather of 90 degrees. I remember the grass was beginning to scorch and the branches of ‘Mr. Magick Tree’ (also known as the huge tree at the side of the house) were turning hard and brittle… most unsuitable for climbing. I was tying a rope to a high branch on the tree… I had an idea… I was making a swing. Lord was I excited… funny what excites a little mind. I remember clearly looking upward, standing on my tippy toes reaching high above me trying to tie a knot… and the rain started… catching me right in the eyes. The heavens opened up and God let loose on the summer. There hadn’t been any reports of rain and when the sudden storm started the sun was still shining. Those are the weirdest… heavy rain in sunshine and no clouds.
My little foot slipped as I tried to wipe the water from my eyes. I hugged the tree trunk close while I looked out over our neighborhood; the house across the street had been painted white the day before… from yellow to a bright white. I was fascinated. All of my adventures were technically on my block… I would go all the way around from one end… to the other. I hadn’t graduated to crossing the street yet. I was still afraid of the cars… big zooming monsters that could smash my little self like a bug. I would make my way over there… eventually.
I listened to an unseen dog barking in the distance and sighed… the day was a bust… time to go in and watch TV. So I shimmied my way down the tree trunk being extra careful as the rain made everything slick and hard to grasp. I was reckless lol but I didn’t want to fall out of that tree (I wasn’t supposed to be in… in the first place) and wind up having my mom beat my azz. The climb felt like it took forever… I only realized I was holding my breath when my feet touched the ground. As I steadied myself I looked up at the tree… the rope/unfinished swing and sighed… now this was a storm. As I turned to head back into the house the thunder started.
It rained like that for 2 weeks. I remember going mad cooped up in the house, my mother refused to let me play outside “Its RAINING!!! YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT THERE TO GET SICK!!” she would screech at the top of her lungs as only a mother can lol. That felt like the longest 2 weeks of my little life. The sky had darkened to a perpetual dark gunmetal grey… the sun was nowhere to be found. Some days thunder and lightning… other days just thunder… other days just lightning… but most days… just heavy rain.
We were all going stir crazy. My dad had started coming home earlier due to the weather… and this annoyed my mom to no end. I remember how her lips would pucker and she would look at the clock grumbling under her breath when he started that lol. On this one day in particular he walked into the house glassy eyed… (who am I kidding he looked a lil crazy… just a lil bit lol) and demanded to know where dinner was. This of course irritated my mom… as he was interrupting her reading… something I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO DO. So we sat down to dinner… early.
“Where is your bathing suit?” my dad asked me around a mouth full of food. “In my room Papi,” I answered hesitantly… with my dad you could never be sure if it was a trick question or not. “Go put it on” he said around a new mouthful of food. I looked over at my mom; she just shrugged and rolled her eyes. So I got up and walked out of the kitchen… “You too…” I heard him say to my mom as I raced to my room… we never kept my dad waiting. When I emerged from my room a few minutes later my mom was waiting for me by the back door… in her bathing suit… with a shower cap on her head. “Come here.” She said opening a fresh package as I made my way over to her. She placed a brand new shower cap on my head just as my dad came out of their bedroom… wearing swim trunks.
My dad went into the bathroom and came back out carrying towels and 2 bars of soap. “Papi? What are you doing?” I asked him shyly… that’s how I talked to my dad… shyly… very quietly kind of like you would to a wild animal you were concerned about spooking. My dad was easily spooked and turned mean whenever he was. He started laughing and dancing in place “We are going to take a bath in the rain!” He announced while opening the back door. I looked up at my mom who was standing right beside me… again she shrugged and just rolled her eyes… but as I realized I would be OUTSIDE!!!! In the RAIN! I was suddenly excited… and in the ways of children my body vibrated with it and I smiled… and smiled… and smiled.
So we went single file down the steps toward the door that lead outside… and my dad placed the towels on the bottom step, handed a bar of soap to my mom and broke the other one in half handing me the smaller piece. “Ready?” he asked and as I nodded excitedly he threw open the back door and began his crazy laugh that always made me giggle,”Ha … ha… ha… hiiii! Ha… ha… ha… hi!” smh thinking back on it now I believe that man was one crayon short of a whole set. We stood there briefly looking out into the storm.
It was mid-day… dark… overcast… warm with high winds and we scattered. My dad went left my mom and I went right. I ran around the yard happily… so excited to finally be back outside. I slid in the grass… rolled around… belly flopped into puddles… the works. Then I looked for my parents. Both of them were standing under rain gutters at opposite ends of the yard, soap in hand… just washing away. So I looked for another gutter… this one was tucked close to ‘Mr. Magick Tree’ and I stood under the deluge. The water was cold… relentless and took my little breath away.
I took that bar of soap and began scrubbing… I watched as the mud, leaves and grass fell away from my little body. I jumped up and down… I broke out into song… I was HAPPY. In the midst of that happiness I looked out at our neighborhood wondering if we were being watched (and not caring in the way children don’t lol). I stood under that cold spray and breathed in the rain… this felt right… like coming home. I bent at the waist and looked for my parents… both still immersed in their own private waterfall… that’s what it felt like… our private storm… and our private waterfalls.
This is my most cherished memory of my parents together. They weren’t warm and fuzzy together… to be honest they barely got along… but on THIS day… we did something together… something FUN. With no arguments… no yelling… no walking on egg shells… and most importantly ME not getting SMACKED IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD (as dear old dad was want to do). This is something I know I want to do with my future children… play in the rain… as a family. To wrap them in my love… wrap them in God’s love and wrap them in the love of their other parent. That’s what rain has always been for me… a physical manifestation of God’s love. *shrugs* (yes I know I’m a weirdo lol)
That was the first time… or the first memory I have of feeling a complete and perfect peace. Rain still does that for me… till this day I will go sit out on the back steps during a rain storm… sometimes with a glass of wine… sometimes something else ;-). Sometimes I go for a walk… most times Ely is with me… some not. Feels like a communion… practically the only times I feel like God is speaking directly to my spirit. I’ve laughed in the rain… cryed in the rain… kissed in the rain… danced in the rain… and I’ve loved every minute of it.
– Nova