Kick Rocks…
So last week my cousin dragged me to the movies to see Steve Harvey’s ‘Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man’ and I in turn dragged one of my friends to see it for Mother’s Day (cause she wanted to see it). Sadly watching it I related to both the men and the women. What is the point of relationships anyway? I always thought it was to help ‘each other’ to be better, whether it was mother and child, friendships or lovers… to help each other… to BE BETTER. Funny how I look around and I don’t see too much of this ‘better’ going on.
As much as I can adore someone I can’t teach them how to adore me. You either do or you don’t. Getting to know someone has morphed into an ongoing job interview… but not too many people seem to be getting this job. Frankly… I don’t want to participate anymore. My friend told me actions speak louder than words but guess what… that may work for some people but I live and breathe words. The woman in me does a Chi Chi Dance at the actions… but the writer in me… SHE needs the words.
I could wax poetic about my failed relationships but what for? They failed… point blank… PERIOD. Some of those failures were my fault some of them weren’t, but I learned from each and every one of them. My hurts are not more important than anyone else’s and it’s amazing how many people walk this Earth thinking otherwise. It’s hard not being the one someone wants… and devastating not being wanted by the ones we want the most. I sit back and listen to my girls complain about their relationships or lack of and all I can think… ‘Is this really it?’ Honestly… I’m probably meant to just… BE… single. I will not be disrespected. I will not be ignored. I will not be that chick someone settles for. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me…
I… do not… want someone… who does not want me. Life is just too short…
What’s the point of ‘putting yourself’ out there and ‘jumping’ for the one you want… when they are unwilling or unable to catch you? Finding the right balance of want… need… physical and mental attraction, adoration AND respect? Seems like the Holy Grail… like a fictitious carrot someone somewhere made up to dangle in front of the starving masses particularly to drive women crazy. Me? I don’t want to be crazy, I like my sanity.
Go Kick Rocks.
– Nova