Still Learning…

As women we tend to take on the battles of our loved ones as though they are our own.  The need to nurture and protect that comes naturally to us is exposed to everyone… Nature’s worst kept secret.

As a result we are left open and vulnerable to the ones we care for. We listen as they tell us personal horror stories about things ‘done’ to them.  We become offended on their behalf. Anger is bred where there was none before and then it begins… the urge to defend and protect. Making it easy to get wrapped up in a loved one’s drama…

“I can’t believe you think that about my friend…”

“Don’t mess with my man…”

“She had no reason to do this…”

“He had no right to say that…”

“They come for you… they have to go through me first…”

Funny how the very LAST thing to occur to us is what our loved one may have done to bring the events upon themselves. 

What kind of Karma have they earned?

What type of person is this individual outside of the persona they have built for us?

What type of person is this individual outside of the bubble we have built for them?

How do they treat men?

Do they have respect for women?

Do they play nice with others?

Does doing the right thing ever occur to them?

Is he really that oblivious?

Is she really evil deep down in her spirit?

Are they just that clueless?

Which face… which act… is the REAL face… the GENUINE act?

Defending those we love is the easiest thing in the world… it comes naturally.

That defense puts all of our energy into keeping the perceived danger at bay…

Slapping down the immediate threat…

Squashing anyone who would dare insult, ridicule, hurt, or harm someone we care for…

Leaving us open to whatever harm may be directed at us… from the very person we are working to protect.

I can spend time trying to figure out if some people I’ve invested in are the walking embodiment of EVIL… instead I choose to shrug and say… “I refuse to step into the void with you.”

An Unknown Author wrote: Isn’t it ironic? We IGNORE those who adore us… ADORE those who ignore us…. HURT those who love us… and LOVE those who hurt us.

Is this really the secret nature of people? I’m confused.

The concept of: ‘treating others the way you wish to be treated…’ is that real? Or BS someone came up with to sell a T-Shirt?

The ideal of: ‘Say what you mean… and mean what you say…’ a personal truth or just a catchy turn of phrase?

Allan Roberts said: “You always hurt the one you love”

A variation of the American Wiccan Rede; “Do what you will… so long as it harms none”

We all grew up hearing the story about the wolf in sheep’s clothing…

What they didn’t tell us:

That wolf is just passing through… and will move on after its meal. The REAL danger comes from the familiar… the KNOWN not the UNKNOWN. The long term damage will always come from our fellow sheep.  I guess part of being a grown up is learning to be watchful for the wolf… and separate yourself from the sheep. 

 It’s amazing how the word ‘friendship’ can mean so many different things to so many different people. We don’t want to seem pessimistic by running around telling everyone to watch their backs yet I’ve learned four simple truths:

1     The one that is quick to point out how negative someone else is… is secretly the most negative person in the room.

2     The one constantly questioning your motives… is usually the one doing the dirt.

3     The one everyone begs you to stay away from… is probably the one you need to RUN AWAY from.

4     The one quick to point out a flaw in another person…”too short… too dark… too fat… too ugly…” is usually the one with the least amount of love for themselves.

As humans we tend to forget that everyone’s life path is their own. While we can walk with them… view their progress from the sidelines or leave them to their journey… we should but rarely remember our path is our own.

Choosing to walk with a loved one does not make THEIR destination YOUR destination.

Choosing to walk with a loved one does not mean the lessons designed for THEM must be learned by YOU.

Choosing to walk with a loved one does not make YOU valuable or necessary in THEIR life.

Not all offers of friendship are genuine.

Apparently for some… they hurt the ones they love… AND the ones they don’t give a fuck about IN EQUAL MEASURE.

Does it really matter which one you are to them?

Some just have a NEED to BE hurtful…

Some reel you in… inspired to wreck havoc on your life and on your peace of mind….

I have no interest in being a victim.

I’ll figure it out…

The world is full of predators.

What does it take to recognize this in a person?

*shrugs*

I’m STILL learning…

–          Nova