The Writing
Private Summer…
I step onto the crowded train alert, tense… “barely room to breathe” I mumble to myself as I take position in an open space and grab the pole. I watch as people exchange dirty looks while pushing and shoving. I reach down and flip my music on… volume at maximum, take a deep breath and close my eyes to the mayhem around me and wait to ride it out to the last stop.
The music fills my spirit as my mind begins to wander… I feel the train stop, start, then stop again… bodies jostling each other this way… that way… amid the muffled murmurs of disgruntled riders. My thoughts drift to you… your beautiful face… the sound of your voice… the feel of your lips against mine…
My breath catches… my nipples harden… and I shift my weight from one foot to the other as thoughts of you settle that heated, slick pressure I’ve grown so familiar with in the apex of my thighs. My heart rate quickens as the song in my ear changes… I listen as guitar strings thrum and drums beat a steady rhythm in tune with the blood rushing through my body.
Your scent envelops me… taking me on an unexpected high… and my body stiffens, eyes snapping open as I feel hands slide down my sides and settle on my hips to tug me backward. I quickly look behind me lips parted… tirade ready… and find myself looking deeply into your smiling eyes.
“I figured I’d meet you” you whisper lightly brushing your lips against mine. I quickly turn the music off, “You scared me” I hiss back at you as you lean your body into mine… wrapping one hand on the pole in front of me, while the other settles low and flush against my tummy…
“I’m sorry… didn’t want you on the train this late alone” you whisper in my ear… and I sigh as you lean into me and kiss the back of my neck. “Hmmm…” is the only answer I can come up with…
I close my eyes, and we ride like that for some time… wedged together on this crowded train… our bodies rocking with the motion… my backside nestled firmly between your slightly parted thighs. I’m soothed by the nearness of you… cocooned in your heat… alert, tense… “Barely room to breathe” I mumble to myself. I feel the train stop, start, then stop again… bodies jostling each other this way… that way… amid the muffled murmurs of disgruntled riders.
I lean back into you and enjoy the burn of your hand where you’re touching me. My breath catches… my hardened nipples tingle… and I shift my weight from one foot to the other as your nearness sends little shocks into me… magnifying that heated, slick pressure I’ve grown so familiar with in the apex of my thighs… you always make me feel this way. My erratic breath booms away inside of me as I realize where we are. You begin to hum a tune, thrumming your fingers against my skin and my heart beats a steady rhythm in tune with yours.
Your scent envelops me… heady… taking me on that familiar high… and my body melts, eyes floating open as I feel your hand slide up and down my thigh then settle on my hip pressing me backward. I look behind me… lips parted… moan ready… and find myself looking deeply into your smiling eyes… “Almost there…”
– Nova
SoulMates…
The Angels gathered in Heaven, huddled in groups whispering… expectant… excited.
Heaven’s Kiln has been fired …
You see… God is in the workshop again…
Inspired… determined… and with purpose…
He has toiled away days, weeks, years of his time… working on a perfect soul… selecting the necessary components…
Intelligence, Curiosity, Beauty, Humility, Patience, Virtue, Honesty, Strength, Fear, Stubbornness… Temper…
Lover…
Fighter…
Confidante…
Friend…
The instant this soul is complete…
Crafted with God’s precision…
Glazed with Love… and Fired with the flames of creation…
The Heavens boom with the voices of innumerable Angels rejoicing…
God looks into the face of what he has created.
Knowing full well that perfection is a perpetual state of instability…
and he watches… as from within… a crack forms in your visage…
Jagged lines run from one end of your form to the other as your spirit splits in half.
Twin flames bloom where one soul once stood… and God smiles… “You’re ready”…
He cradles first one flame in the palm of his hand… cooes her name and advises her…
“You’ll be hurt and abandoned but the reunion will make all things worth the effort.
Let your other half Love You…
Laugh much…
Always think before you act…
Love hard… and Love often. ”
And just as he was about to fling her into existence he gestures fondly toward you… expectantly awaiting his attention…
“Oh… and don’t take any of this one’s crap.”
And with a flick of his wrist she was born into the world.
Soulmates are made…
Handcrafted with God’s love…
Flawed…Gifted…
Two imperfect halves that fit together to form the perfect whole the creator intended…
God chuckles… as you flare excitedly… taking you into his hands…
“My child… you have a long road ahead, but you will be together again.
You’ll be hurt… left to wander… and angry…
She will be your strength in the moments when you have none.
It is the force of her love that completes your spirit.
Do not allow the life you live to harden your heart to her.
Let Her Love You.
Laugh much…
Think before you act…
Love hard and Love often…
and always remember… you are cast in My image…”
As you dance in his hands impatiently he smiles…
“Oh… she’ll give you a run for your money… don’t you let her run wild.
That one will need a lot of love and an abundance of understanding but….
Try not to kill each other”.
And with a flare of your will you are born into this world.
Now… find each other.
For my future love– Nova
Evolution of the Stick Up Kid…
It’s been said original bias consisted of one word…
The template for the profile of a criminal … “BLACK”…
But there’s a new spin on the old…
We came in groups… moving in slow motion down dark streets…
Jeans, Tims, Sweats, Hoodies…
On corners… in front of stores… shadowed in doorways …
Solitary… predatory… and in silence…
No, I’m not interested in any convo…
Pants down low, head down low, hood up, eyes… everywhere…
The uniform of a ghost…
These are my streets… my block… my hood…
They’ve written songs about me…
They made movies about me…
My exploits, passed around as stories of legend…
Pants down low, head down low, hood up, eyes… everywhere…
The uniform of a ghost…
I light up… move weight… always strapped…
Suddenly I am popular… copied from my line up to my boots…
My actions, glorified… vilified… glorified… vilified…
I listen to my description over and over on the radio…
Watch my mirror image blinged out in music videos…
Pants down low, head down low, hood up, eyes… everywhere…
The uniform of a ghost…
Once associated with team spirit, sports memorabilia or just plain casual…
The monster moms warned you about…
The creature in the dark…
Mind set on your purse, your wallet… and whatever else…
Yeah… I’m a hot commodity…
Pants down low, head down low, hood up, eyes… everywhere…
The uniform of a ghost…
In school… the mall…hanging out … or playing ball…
I am popular… copied from my line up to my boots…
My actions, glorified… vilified… glorified… vilified…
Your unsuspecting sons leave home… looking like me…
Pants down low, head down low, hood up, eyes… everywhere…
The uniform of a ghost…
It’s been said original bias consisted of one word…
The template for the profile of a criminal … “BLACK”…
But there’s a new spin on the old…
ME…
– NovaCSA
God’s Gift…
I asked God for an unconditional love…
One filled with affection, and laughter, and joy…
For a love that would always make my heart turn to mush…
Could always make me feel better…
Would always be happy to see me…
Forever eager to please me…
Remain enamored…
and this is what I got…
(shrugs) Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?
– Nova
Isn’t he adorable?
Flicker…
God sat on his porch looking down upon his Children… through the clouds he could see us running back and forth… making choices… and living life. “This should be a lot more interesting…” he said to himself… He stroked his beard… squinted his eye… “Ah! I have an idea…”
He raised himself up and headed to Heavens ‘Wine Cellar’… a cool and blessed place where divine spirits are housed in special bottles, a lot like the ones we keep in our own cellars, and each bottle has a label embossed with a year. God took his time looking through these bottles… days… … decades… centuries… and then finally… far in the back… a little to the left… God found the bottle he was looking for. Straightening he blew dust off of the label and smiled… “Yes… this is it”. God hurried back out to the porch, took his seat and parted the clouds.
As he looked down upon his children his eyes misted. You see God had saved this particular bottle for several millennia… waiting for the right time. Inside it a flicker of light shimmered softly, swaying back and forth, and as he gazed at this flame it slowly grew brighter. Shaking his head he whispered “they’re not ready,” and uncorked the bottle. The flame danced back and forth burning hotter… waiting… waiting… the year on the bottle burning brighter … waiting… waiting… and new letters branded into the label as God spoke your name…
What began as a flicker of light slowly burned into a large ball of flame… consuming the bottle and raging in the palm of God’s hand. Each spirit is handcrafted with specific intent. As you burned brightly in God’s hand he sighed, the world was not yet ready… exactly why it was time for him to send you. “Shine brightly little one… and blaze the trail you were made for,” and with the strength of creation your spirit spiraled down to earth. And with a wail a child was born… flawed, gifted, perfectly designed… she was small, she was fire… she was you.
My spirit was sent to tell you… There is no man that is not your equal… no pain that will weaken you… no love that will not matter… there is no decision that will harm you… no mistake that will stop you… and no obstacle you cannot shatter. To remind you… When the lightning strikes… when the earth quakes… when you’re feeling blue… and when your heart aches…. Within you there is a flicker… handcrafted with strength… born for a purpose… burning an eternal flame… Just take a deep breath … and continue to burn… because Angels speak your name.
– Nova
Sometimes it isn’t always the person or the inspiration that matters… sometimes it’s the message
Friday’s Good Morning (him)
This morning I opened my eyes, and you weren’t next to me. The palm of my hand reached out for you, but you weren’t there. I hugged your pillow close and took in a long deep breath, holding onto your scent, “time to start the day”. I got out of bed and walked slowly out of the room with thoughts of coffee on my mind and you in my heart, then like a sudden storm I heard it, the sound of running water.
The bathroom is a small space, made even smaller still by the steam from the heat of your shower. I watch your silhouette under the steady pulse of water and decide to step in behind you. I take in the sight of your body all hard lines and control… wet and shining, your hair hanging in small heavy ropes around your face and back. I press a kiss between your shoulder blades and wrap my arms around you, pressing my breasts flush against you, resting my lips against your neck, and we stand that way for a time… quiet, breathless, our hearts beating in unison.
I step back and pour shower gel into the palm of my hand and rub it into a lather, as you stand before me… one hand braced against the wall, water sliding down your body. I knead into your tight muscles, applying pressure with my thumbs. You moan softly and lean into my touch, my fingers skimming over your skin, sliding slowly down your shoulders, backside, then over your legs and back up and around your waist. Embracing you and rubbing my cheek against your skin, again pressing my lips into your neck as my hands slide onto your stomach and up over your chest, pausing to slowly roll your nipples gently between my fingers. As the water from the shower washes my efforts away, you sigh.
My hands slide down between your thighs rubbing the head of your arousal with one while I wrapping my fingers around you with the other, sliding my thumb back and forth across the top and then up and down over that most sensitive area just beneath the head. Damn… you feel like pulsing heated steel. You groan and shift away from my touch, breaking my embrace as you turn around and face me. Our eyes lock as you entwine both your hands with mine and lean in to kiss me… long, sweet and … deep.
I pull away from you to trail kisses over your collar bone, following the flow of the water over your skin. I slide my hands down your sides as I take first one nipple into my mouth sucking on it gently, rubbing my lips over your skin toward the other… scraping it lightly with my teeth, then licking it again to sooth away the small sting. I drop to my knees before you… laying kisses across your stomach and against your thighs.
I feel your body tense under my lips as the rhythm of your breath changes. I dip my head to slide the weight of one ball onto my tongue, rubbing it gently before massaging it lightly with my lips. As I shift to repeat the action with the other weight your shaft bounces and strains before me… begging for attention. I lick my way up slowly up from the base to the tip, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against the soft mushroom… tasting a drop of the beginnings of your seed. As my lips wrap around you, I savor that special flavor of your essence, flicking my tongue quickly over the head making your body shiver in anticipation. I slide my lips down your manhood, enjoying the pulse of you against the back of my throat… sliding up and then back down again… once, twice, three, four. I lose count as my body gives itself over to pleasing you… my nipples hard, moist heat pooled between my thighs as a growl of pleasure escapes you… the sound heavy and low.
Your hands grip my head as I pull back just enough to tease the head, rubbing my tongue over it again and then sucking you down with deep slow strokes, as the length of you jumps between my lips. My heart is racing because… mmm baby, you taste so… good. Your hips buck against me as I flick my tongue over you, milking you, my hand cupping your balls as I take you in deep. I feel the telltale tightening of your body against me… the erratic rhythm of you inside of my mouth and then I am flooded with the flow of your seed.
You grip my head tightly holding it in place as you moan guttural and harsh, riding wave after wave of a long and hard orgasm. I drink you in deep as you shudder, your pleasure filling me, and I’m cumming as I savor the last drops from you. As I pop you out of my mouth I rub my tongue against your head, against the opening… coaxing out the last drops of your release. Your body twitches then slowly relaxes, your hands releasing their hold on me as I lay my head against your thigh, catching my breath and willing my heartbeat to slow down. “Babe” you say, your voice thick and husky. I look up at you, this love of mine and you pull me up wrapping your arms around my waist.
You hug me tightly against you and we stay like that for a time, calming. I shift to look up a you, stretch up on my tip toes and take your beautiful face between my hands. I press a long soft kiss to your forehead, then whisper… “Good morning Daddy”.
– Nova
Friday’s Good Morning
This morning I opened my eyes and you weren’t next to me. The palm of my hand reached out and you weren’t there. I hugged your pillow close and took a long deep breath, holding in your scent, “time to start the day”. I got out of bed and walked slowly out of the room with thoughts of coffee on my mind and you in my heart and then I heard it, the sound of running water.
The bathroom is a small space, made smaller still by the steam from the heat of your shower. I watch the outline of your body stand under the steady pulse of water. As I step in behind you I take in the sight of your body, wet and shining, your hair hanging in small heavy ropes around your face. I press a kiss between your shoulder blades wrapping my arms around you, pressing my breasts against your back, resting my lips against your neck, and we stand that way for a time… quiet, breathless, our hearts beating in unison.
I step back and pour shower gel into the palm of my hand and rub it into lather, as you stand before me… one hand braced against the wall, water sliding down your body. I rub the lather into your tight muscles, applying pressure with my thumbs. You moan softly and lean into my touch.
My fingers skim over your skin, sliding slowly down your backside, your legs and around your waist. I embrace you and rub my cheek against your back, again pressing my lips against your neck as my hands rub lather onto your stomach and up over your breasts. I cup them lightly, rolling your nipples gently between my fingers. As the rushing water washes my efforts away, you sigh.
My hand slides down between your thighs rubbing your clit, and I slide a finger inside of you. Damn… you are liquid heat. You groan and move away from my touch, breaking my embrace as you turn around and face me. Our eyes lock as you entwine both your hands with mine and lean in to kiss me… long, sweet and … deep.
I pull away from you to trail kisses over your collar bone, following the flow of the heated water on your skin. I rub my hands down your sides as I take first one nipple into my mouth sucking on it gently, then the other scraping it lightly with my teeth, then licking it again to sooth away the small sting. I drop to my knees before you… laying kisses across your stomach, laying kisses against your thighs.
I feel your body tense under my lips as the rhythm of your breath changes. I lick my way between your thighs… coaxing them to part for me. At the first sweep of my tongue I savor that special flavor of your essence, I flick my tongue quickly over your clit and your body shivers. I burrow my lips deeply against your flesh, sliding my tongue up and then down over your clit, then plunge it deep inside your pussy.
Your hands grip my head as I pull back just enough to take your clit into my mouth and suck on it with deep slow strokes, then quickly as I slip a finger deep inside of you. Mmm… you taste so good babe. Your hips push forward against me as I roll my tongue around your pearl, rubbing my finger against your g spot. I feel the tell tale tightening of your walls around me as I become drenched from a different flow.
You grip my head tightly holding it in place as you moan long and deep riding the wave after wave of a long and hard orgasm. I withdraw my finger only to replace it with my tongue as I drink in your juices. Your body slowly relaxes, and your hands release their hold on me as I lay my head against your thigh, catching my breath and willing my heartbeat to slow down. “Babe” you say, your voice thick and husky. I rise before you, and you wrap your arms around my waist.
I take your beautiful face between my hands and place a long kiss on your forehead, and whisper… “Good morning Daddy”.
– Nova
And the Beat Goes On…
I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on men who I never mattered to… trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of what a ‘Good Little Haitian Girl’ is supposed to grow up to be.
Quiet… submissive… house keeper… baby maker… did I say Quiet… Submissive?
I grew up in a world where the ‘funny uncle’ was the perpetual ‘uninvited’, and when he was required to make an appearance he was the object of everyone’s scorn… the butt of the jokes… the great big elephant in the room.
LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there AREN’T any.
I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on men who never mattered to me… trying to live up to my expectations of what I wanted this ‘Good Little Haitian Girl’ to be.
Creative… resourceful… lover… mother… did I say Creative… Resourceful?
I made a life for myself comprised of close ties to my mother…my sister… my niece… I loved and was loved by straight friends dated men that ranged from ‘good on paper’ to ‘wildly inappropriate’…
And when the time came for naked contact in the dark… I closed my eyes and thought…
“Milk… eggs… broccoli… Cocoa Pebbles”
“I wonder if I took the trash out”
“Have to remember to clean the litter box tomorrow”
“Geeze… is he DONE yet”
LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there AREN’T any.
I finally spent some time on women who I didn’t matter to… trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of what a ‘Newly minted Lezbo’ was supposed to be.
Confused… bisexual… wild… promiscuous… did I say Confused… Bisexual?
I laid the foundation for a new life… one filled with girls and intimacy… connections… and yes FINALLY orgasms. I started to accept the possibility that MAYBE men… just were not for me. I admitted that I actually had not dated… had sex with… or thought about any man since the first time I got naked with a woman.
LESBIAN? What is that?
There weren’t any… to be clear… there was one now.
I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I spent too much time on women who never mattered to me… trying to live up to my expectations of what I wanted this ‘Lesbian’ to be.
Soft… submissive… feminine… without opinion… did I say Soft… Submissive?
I make no apologies… I accept my past and the woman it’s made me today. Sure I lived for a few years with my ‘Old School’ Haitian mother opening up every convo with “Are you still doing THAT?” and I listened to random people give me ‘advice’ about not giving up on men and “you just haven’t had the right d*ck”.
Seriously??? I’m not a Ferris wheel… everyone does not get a ride.
My friends… and family love me… so that sums it up for them.
As for mom… I sat her down and candidly explained that my best experience with a man…
Mentally… emotionally… physically… (and let’s be honest) sexually… was NOWHERE near better than my WORST experience with a woman.
And my beautiful mothers answer??? “WOOOOOOOOW…. that’s harsh” (lmao sorry still sends me into fits of giggles). It has never come up again… and while I’m smart enough to know she doesn’t approve… and it’s not the life she would have chosen for me… she accepts it… because I’m hers.
LESBIAN? What is that?
A Gem among Gems… to be clear… that’s me… that’s all of us.
I find myself in a constant rotation of motion… I think… I react… I burn brighter than any flame…
I embrace the life I live… I acknowledge that I’m hand crafted… custom made for ‘Her’… whoever ‘She’ may be. We’ll find our way to each other when we are meant to. In the meantime I bust my azz daily to deserve her because I know that she is ‘everything’ and she deserves ‘everything’.
Smart… honest… lover… partner… did I say Smart… Honest?
Our future children will grow up in a world where the ‘funny relatives’ are the ones with the jokes, and we will make our appearance as ‘family’ remaining steadfast in our loyalty and regard for one another…
There will always be someone ‘disapproving’… there will always be ridicule and let’s be honest… we’ll probably still be the great big elephant in the room… but without struggle and self acceptance there can never be progress.
LESBIAN? What is that?
Me… and I don’t mind telling you… I’m pretty f*ckin AWESOME.
– Nova
What I want… What I need…..
I want a life in addition to the one that I’ve been given… one that I’ve fought for… one that feels lived in…
I want my heart to beat a rhythm that is music… to the ears of my loved ones… a tune that is sooo sick…
I want my mind to be moved to think thoughts that break barriers… because wisdom’s the weapon of true born warriors.
I want my spirit to fly places I never thought I could go… it’s the promise of tomorrows… tomorrow that give me hope.
I need the life that I live to have direction, to have a purpose… so when I take my last breath I’ll know it was worth it.
I need a love that will love me without pause, without measure… a wife by my side to honor and treasure.
I need my mind to be enthralled, to be cultivated… by a woman that can educate me, adore me, and keep me motivated.
I need my soul to tell a tale far and wide one heard by everyone… because it is your face I will see when I give birth to our son.
I want a life where it doesn’t matter that I love women… in a world that’s forgiving… in a world where it’s no sin.
I want my heart to play a tune… to sing a solo… because you are my music… and I am your radio.
I want my mind to dream… dreams that come to fruition… it’s the strength of our thoughts that are the best ammunition.
I want my spirit to speak directly to yours… you’re the reason I was made, you’re the one I’m handcrafted for.
I need to live like no one else has lived… for the ones who came before us… they changed the world and paved the way… therefore I must.
I need a love that will give… just as I give… forever and without ending… we are committed, stable, and solid that’s the message we are sending.
I need a mind that is open, a mind that is strong… without it I can’t fight the bigotry, can’t point out it’s wrong.
I need my soul to ‘man up’ to gather you round and pass on this memo… whether you’re Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, Bi or just plain Homo…
We matter.
– Nova
Wednesday’s Good Morning…
I spent the night curled up against your back. This morning I wake and pull you toward me, holding your body tight in slumber. Enjoying the way the skin of your back feels pressed against my breasts. I brush soft kisses across the back of your neck, lick my way around your ear lobe… and my hands lightly explore your body. Damn… how I love this… just touching you. I cup the soft weight of your breast as you lean back into my embrace and roll a nipple gently between my thumb and index finger.
I stretch my body against the warmth of your naked skin and my body hums. I slide my hand down to your navel and with my nail draw lazy circles around it… drawing a sharp intake of your breath. My thigh slips slowly between yours, mmm, you feel so… good. My hand glides gently between your legs slightly teasing and you grind against me in a full bodied shudder, like the
big cat you are.
I place my fingers over you and envelope them in your moist heat, rubbing my thumb across your pearl and slip a finger deep inside of you. Your breathing is labored now… as I slide it all the way out and then quickly back in… touching you in the way I’ve dreamed… moaning into your ear as your body tenses against me in a sharp, sweet and unexpected climax. I kiss you gently on the back of your neck as I breath in your scent… closing my eyes. I smile as my heart beats in time with yours, lick your shoulder and whisper, “Good morning Baby”. 😉
